Acknowledge Yourself
I find it extremely insightful to observe the difficulty some people have in receiving an acknowledgement. A lump swells in their throat, their palms begin to sweat, tension rises in their neck and they become fidgety. They also begin to misread the acknowledger by asking themselves questions. “Are they lying?” “How am I to believe them?” “What do they want?” By giving an acknowledgement the feelings were pretty well the same. The acknowledger doubted what they wanted to say and questioned whether it was appropriate to give the acknowledgement. “They won’t believe me.” “I’ll sound stupid.”
When was the last time you acknowledged or validated yourself? Or acknowledged or validated someone else? Funny thing is many of us seem to believe that this beautiful gift is not important. Why is this so? Because many of us have never experienced many acknowledgements growing up, so it doesn’t come naturally. And because we haven’t experienced many acknowledgements growing up, they sound foreign to us. This leaves us neither knowing how to give nor receive a simple yet powerful tool.
Here’s what others’ acknowledgements and validations can look like:
- Having someone endorse you when you are afraid to forge ahead.
- Focusing on your strengths when all you see are your weaknesses.
- Wanting a better way for you when you find it hopeless.
- Holding your vision high when you are down.
- And recognizing your talents and accomplishments when you are blind to see them.
These can be something unknown to most of us, yet it is a gift that will move someone into action.
A simple acknowledgement is a way to bring out the best in others. It is a way to shed the light so they can see their true and unlimited potential. And to give them strength and courage as they are cheered on through their endeavours.
As an acknowledger, you are sharing something extremely precious and invaluable. There is not enough gold or diamonds on the planet that will bring that sense of empowerment, warmth and love to someone’s heart as they grow in acceptance towards this gift.
Don’t wait for someone to acknowledge you either. Begin acknowledging your strengths, talents, character, emotions, feelings, attributes, skills and all the things you’ve done in your life to help, encourage, support and love yourself and others.
Also remember to embrace your weaknesses, awkwardness, vulnerabilities, dislikes or disheartened relationships. By embracing your dark side, you begin to heal yourself with the power of love and self-acceptance. You also acknowledge the completeness of who you are. By acknowledging the completeness of who you are, you begin to see yourself as already perfect and whole just the way you are. By doing this you stop the resistance or the “dis-ease”. Ultimately, the resisted and unacknowledged dark side impacts your health in a negative way. You wouldn’t be where you are today without your so-called dark side. Wake up and use your acknowledgement skills. Once they become a well used positive habit, you’ll be amazed how you can help transform the lives of others as well as your own.
“You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within.” -Bob Nelson
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“When was the last time you acknowledged or validated yourself?”
I am always surprised to hear the answer to this question whenever I ask someone. It’s sad how much people forget to take care of themselves. It is important to be considerate of others, care about others and to inevest in others but it is equally as important to take care of yourself.
Thanks for posting this article.
Hi Dr. Irene,
I read your article and am so very much in agreement with you. One thing I Like to do is keep a “Feel Good Book” for myself. Whenever I receive a compliment or a nice note from someone, I write or paste it in my book. It’s fun to give a blank book to someone you love and encourage him or her to do the same. When you’re feeling down, go back and review the nice things people have said.